Wednesday, April 30, 2008
Tuesday, April 29, 2008
Monday, April 28, 2008
Saturday, April 26, 2008
Friday, April 25, 2008
Me: Hey, don't you know the crow is my totem animal?
Annie B: I thought I was your totem animal.
Me: Well, you'll do in a pinch.
Thursday, April 24, 2008
Tuesday, April 22, 2008
Saturday, April 19, 2008
Friday, April 18, 2008
I used to be one for capers. I loved the mysterious odd path a person could take just for the sake of outwitting.
Unfortunately the most daring thing I've been involved in lately is sneaking my own candy into the movie theater. Known these days as life on the edge.
Thursday, April 17, 2008
"How much?" I asked.
The two young sellers conferred with each other. After a short conference one came over to me. She was obviously uncomfortable.
"It says queens not queen," she said. I swear she was blushing.
"I know. I get it," I said.
But you have to give them credit. They were obviously trying to save an old lady from publicly embarrassing herself. I paid them a dollar. It never ended up on my car. I just liked it the sentiment.
It seems she drove her beat up station wagon through town picking up stray dogs. Sometimes her car was a riot of unruly dogs tearing into 50 pound bags of dog food she kept there.
She was so distracted she almost never seemed to remember why she'd come to class. But she seemed to be well-meaning.
I lasted 6 weeks and I'm not even sure she spoke French. I know I don't.
Yesterday I got all spiffed up and stepped out. In public. I thought I looked good so I felt good. When I got home I happened to run my hand over the back of my head. There on the crown was a huge tuft of hair, a snarl the size of a tornado. I reminded myself of one of those really old women on buses going downtown, the ones who wear big dots of rouge on their cheeks and only comb the front of their hair. Just the part they can see.
Sunday, April 13, 2008
"Is there a town nearby?" I ask.
"Or a doctor?" she adds.
"What about plumbing?" I wonder.
"What about killers?" she's thinking.
"I'm afraid comfort has eroded my will", she says.
"Yeah, mine too."
"Maybe we could visit this place?"
"Where is it, exactly?"
Saturday, April 12, 2008
Friday, April 11, 2008
Thursday, April 10, 2008
Wednesday, April 9, 2008
My good friend, Joanne was a transplant from NYC. She ended up in San Francisco in a house with a little yard.
"Wow! A yard!" I exclaimed.
"What do you do with a yard?" she asked.
"It's like people who go to the woods. You get there, you see a tree and then what do you do?" she wanted to know.
Tuesday, April 8, 2008
My question is, WHEN does it end? Why don't they call it March through April Madness? Why toy with us like this?
"Sorry to bother you. I'll send your waitress right over. Before your nap."
(Well, excuuuse me.)
Every year she grew a quarter acre of tomatoes and apricots, peaches, etc. And every year she dragged out the family pressure cooker and canned things. And every year, the pressure cooker exploded.
The 30 pound cast iron lid would hit the ceiling with a brilliant display of tomato or fruit. My discouraged mother would go to her room and for days our job was to clean the walls and ceiling. Canning season was a contentious time at our house. It didn't look at all like "Dinah" holding her gleaming cooker in her tidy green suit.
Boy, good thing those Students for a Free Tibet weren't Mafia or Reds or something more sinister.
(I understand security personnel was nearby at a security meeting when the climb began.)