The Stella Awards

It's time for the annual Stella Awards. Named for an 81 year old woman from New Mexico who sued and won a settlement from McDonalds in 1992 because their hot coffee burned her leg.
This year's winners:
3rd Place: Amber Carson of Pennsylvania because a jury ordered a restaurant to pay her $113,500 after she slipped and fell on a spilled soft drink. Moments before the mishap she'd flung the soft drink at her boyfriend.
2nd Place: Kara Wilson of Delaware won $12,000 plus dental expenses after she fell into the bathroom window of a night club trying to avoid the $3.50 cover charge.
1st Place: Mrs. Merv Grazinski of Oklahoma who won $1,750,000 plus a new Winnebago after she totaled hers when she put her moving vehicle on cruise control, left the driver's seat and went into the back to make a sandwich.
Can hardly wait for next year's winners. (thanks, Janet)